Canadian Humour

This next entries were on a menu at a pub I visited with my mom & sister, Connie. We thought they were funny:


Thieves broke into an RCMP headquarters today in Cape Breton and stole all the toilets. Police say, "we don't have a thing to go on."


Then there was the Newfy, who thought he had fooled Air Canada. He bought a return ticket, but he wasn't coming back.



The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

RS: "Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?"

G: "Uh... yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den? ... pry, boy, pooch?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baychem... crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! Toes! ... why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No... just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter... just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy... tea... mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tendjewberrymud."

G: "You're welcome."